Journals67
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Update (End of 2019 and End of Decade)
2 min read
I barely post on here, lol...
Well, the 2010s are over, and I've thought about how this decade has shaped my teen years and early twenties. Over the past ten years, I've graduated from high school, graduated from college, and started my first corporate job. I've also worked on my writing throughout this decade as well, and I hope it becomes successful in the next decade. Although I have had several struggles over the past years (especially the latter half), I had been able to overcome them and work hard to accomplish my goals and follow my dreams. I am hoping that I achieve many things in the 2020s and I hope the next decade will give me learning experiences that I can use to my advantage.
2019 was a meh year for me; it wasn't as horrible as 2016 was (fuck 2016) and it wasn't as good as 2017 ended up being for me. It started out strong, with me starting my first corporate job, then it went kind of blah in April/May before picking up in the summer and being pretty decent until December (I had a death in the family two days before Christmas). I'm hoping 2020 is a much better year overall, and I hope to continue making everyone around me, even the people who aren't with me anymore, proud.
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Update 2019
4 min read
Just wanted to do a quick update blog of my life since the last one, which was pretty negative.
In past blogs I've made here, I've detailed my battle with depression, which started in mid-2015 and continued to get worse throughout 2016 and part of 2017. During that time, I was in college, and multiple things (including school, my career, and my relationships with friends and family) were not going well, and no matter how hard I tried to fix these things, I kept failing. In 2017, after a huge setback occurred when it came to my writing, the pressure of life became too much, and I decided that I was better off dead and tried to attempt suicide. Luckily, that attempt failed, and I began seeking help for my mental issues. My life started turning around for the better, and for the rest of 2017 up into mid-2018, my life was imperfect, but nothing to feel miserable about.
Unfortunately, late summer/early fall 2018 ended up being the second most-shitty time in my life since the entirety of 2016. In May of last year, I graduated from college, which was great, but at the time, I didn't have a career job lined up. For most of that summer, I applied endlessly to any job I could find and even landed a couple of interviews, but I kept constantly getting rejected; even when I felt the interview went well, I was always passed up for someone else. This really started to wreak havoc on my self-esteem, and it didn't help that my friends/peers were getting jobs/going to grad school/doing great things in their lives, and I was stuck at home with a nagging family. In August, I found what I thought could be my dream job; the office was close to where I live, the people I interviewed with were friendly and down-to-earth, and it was the exact position I was looking for that could contribute to my long-term career goals. I had a great phone interview with the manager, and I went to two equally as great in-person interviews, and I thought I had this position in the bag. Once I got the rejection letter, I had a mental breakdown, where I threatened suicide and violence towards my family, who didn't make me feel better about the situation at all; at one point, I had even thought about packing up and moving out because I was sick of their shit. I began to believe that I would never get a career job, and for the rest of the week, I fell into a depressive episode, losing motivation to write and even refusing to get out of bed at one point.
However, I realized that I didn't want to be stuck at home all the time and wait for a job that would never come, so I decided to apply for retail positions for the moment until I found a career job. I ended up getting a seasonal position at American Girl, but that wasn't without its problems, either. One of my managers wanted me to work in the "doll hair salon" section, which I sucked at, and I got yelled at by a customer my first weekend over it. That manager also appeared to hate me as well, as I got bitched at for literally everything while my coworkers made mistakes and weren't reprimanded at all. Luckily, my coworkers and other managers liked me, and I got moved to do regular retail (which I ended up being good at) after that, so working at American Girl wasn't completely bad (I'd say 85% good). Still, being constantly nagged and seeing blatant favoritism and hypocrisy pissed me off and also wreaked havoc on my self-esteem, since I am a person who likes being liked and I don't like being seen as incompetent.
Things started to turn around in December, when I ended up getting invited for an interview for a career job. Everything with the interview process went well, and I ended up getting the job, which I started this week! It's not for the exact position I originally wanted, but I know not everyone gets their dream job starting out, so I want to stay optimistic about this one and learn as much as possible from it. 2018 wasn't the best year in my life, but it taught me many life lessons that I hope to take into 2019. I hope 2019 is a great year for me, and I hope it's a great year for you guys as well!
(I didn't intend for this to be a short essay...)
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How Boyish/Girlish Am I?
3 min read
Before I begin writing this journal, I just like to clarify that I'm in a better place mentally than I was in my last journal. I was just really discouraged and heartbroken after getting rejected for a possible dream-job, and because I was already feeling down about my unsuccessful job search, I became really depressed. Family issues didn't help my depression, either. But after a week of self-loathing and a depressive episode, I'm ready to try again and find employment.
Anyway, I stole this journal from 
Your Boy Side
[] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[] Shopping is torture.
[x] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[ ] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You watch sports on TV. (only soccer and tennis)
[] Gory movies are cool.
[x ] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun.
[] Talk with food in your mouth.
Total = 6
Your Girl Side
[x ] You wear lip gloss.
[ x] You love to shop.
[] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x ] You wear the color pink.
[x] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[x ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[x ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ]Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[x] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] /It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed,/ and put on make-up and accessories
[x ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[ ] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x ] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.
Total = 13
Girl = 13
Boy = 6
I'm more girlish, but I already knew that.
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My Depression is Back, Great Times
1 min read
It's been a while since I've managed to feel completely worthless and like I'm better off dead, and that's a great fucking feeling to have!
It's always fucking great when you spend four long years (half of those feeling worthless and suicidal) in college, only to get rejected from literally every job you've applied for.
It's perfect when you get rejected from your dream job (perfect position, perfect location, etc) and you can only get shitty jobs you don't want.
It's good to have unsupportive parents who don't give a fuck about your feelings because you cursed at them out of anger and they can't take an apology for shit.
It's great to feel so unmotivated that you don't want to even try anymore, at writing, at job searching, or at life.
Some people are better off dead, and I'm one of them.
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Introduction to Me and My Characters
6 min read
Template by 
I just decided to do this for new followers on my page and people who are interested in my characters and writing.
About me: My name is Chantasia (last name withheld unless you have me on any other social media sites) and I am a 22 year old college graduate who studied information systems and marketing. I'm introverted but I do like to spend time with people at times and do interesting things (I'm well-rounded towards most things. I had another deviantart account (Tpffan5196) that I made for the Phineas and Ferb fanbase (which I was heavily into and still sort-of into when the show was at its prime), and I started this account in 2013 to promote my stories, characters, and tbh kind of crappy art. Most of my likes and dislikes are in the section that DA provides, so you guys can read that.
What my characters are for: For my series, the Middle School Experience series. More information and pictures can be seen on my website for it: middle-school-experience.wikia…
My characters: All under this tab: middle-school-experience.wikia…
Jessie Sanchez
-personality: compassionate, competitive, perfectionist
-other regions of interest: video games, cartoons, Mexican culture
-character concept: I wanted a character that represented my competitive and perfectionist side. Jessie is a soccer player who plays to win and to be the best, and she is also a great student. However, she is compassionate and loyal towards her friends and is there for them, no matter what.
Arabella Wilson
-personality: frantic, overdramatic, daydreamer, well-rounded, somewhat boy-crazy and a hopeless romantic
-other regions of interest: gymnastics, theater, student government a little
-character concept: I wanted to create a character that represented the anxiety-ridden part of myself, when I try to be positive about something, but when I overthink about all the worse possible things that can happen. Alex Sanders
-personality: tomboy, blunt, determined, bold, tough
-other regions of interest: cartoons, video games, pranks, junk food
-character concept: I wanted to create a character that represented the bluntness I think but don't actually say when it comes to some girly issues I don't care about (such as dating and boys) and when it comes to people I don't like who need to be put in their places. She basically tells it how it is and most of the time doesn't care about what anyone thinks of her. Ellie Jackson
-personality: shy, reserved, awkward, loyal
-other regions of interest: writing, student government
-character concept: Ellie is most like myself both physically and emotionally, but I have developed her so she doesn't come across as a self-insert. As the series goes on, she becomes more outgoing and unafraid to express her true self. Also I never got involved in student government at school before. Leah Harrison
-personality: girly, sophisticated, blunt, a little close-minded
-other regions of interest: fashion, shopping, makeup, boys
-character concept: Like Alex, Leah is blunt and tells it like it is. I also wanted a character who was so into sophisticated things that she could be close-minded to things that aren't as sophisticated but learns that some of these things aren't as bad as she thinks. Chloe Winters
-personality: dramatic, girly, optimistic, determined
-other regions of interest: theater, shopping
-character concept: Chloe is the resident theater queen of the group. She is a girl who dreams of becoming a huge Broadway star and is very determined to meet her goal, one school musical at a time. At times, she can be too overbearing and self-centered with her talents, but she has good friends who keep her in step and keep her down-to-earth. Gail Edwards
-personality: girly, sophisticated, mature
-other regions of interest: fashion, shopping, makeup, boys, writing, advice
-character concept: Gail is the main voice-of-reason in the group who gives the girls useful advice whenever one of them is in a tough situation. Daphne Carson
-personality: goofy, optimistic
-other regions of interest: theater
-character concept: Daphne is a representation of mainly my high school and college years, when I took courses (mainly math ones) that I despised and had no motivation for. She has ADHD (which I don't have) and I wanted to represent how even through her struggles in school, she tries her hardest to succeed in school and flourish in the drama club. Maryann Chang
-personality: sophisticated, well-rounded
-other regions of interest: theater, Chinese culture, New York culture
-character concept: I wanted a girl that represented what it's like being popular and well-liked without being completely unlikable and mean-spirited. Regina Daniels
-personality: hipster, laid-back, calm, creative
-other regions of interest: art
-character concept: I wanted a creative and artistic character who wasn't exactly shy but kept to herself and did her own thing. However, she is a character that stands up for what she believes in when she needs to. Relationships among my characters: They are all mainly best friends. Jessie and Chloe knew each other in elementary school, as did Arabella and Gail, and Leah, Ellie, and Alex. The seven of them meet during their first few weeks of middle school, with Leah and Ellie becoming closer to Gail, Jessie and Alex becoming close with each other, and Chloe and Arabella becoming close with each other, Ellie, Leah, and Gail. Daphne, Maryann, and Regina are introduced in a later book, where Maryann and Regina are new girls to Lakewood Middle School. Maryann meets Chloe in one of her new classes, and they become friends, and Chloe introduces her to the rest of the group. Maryann meets Regina and Daphne in another class and become close, and Maryann introduces Daphne and Regina to everyone else.
*NOTE: My website isn't completed yet (it's being worked on over time), so not all the information about the characters is accurate or updated*
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